Remember.

Wondering why I haven't posted? Sadly it's because this new thing of mine hasn't been working out and I'm embarrassed by that. I really like being the person that does what they say they will do. And most of the time, I am. But when it comes to health, my health specifically, I have a very difficult time. But with a trip to NY coming up for Thanksgiving festivities, it's time to get back on the wagon so to speak.
I came across this on Pinterest a while ago:



Hope it gives you a good reminder like it did for me.

ScaRy FOr mE

As close as it is to Halloween, it's only fitting that I post about something scary.
Ready?

PICTURES.

More specifically, pictures of ME.

AUGHGHHGHGHH!!!!!!


rUN fOr YoUr LiFE!!!!!!


Okay, Okay, Okay. Maybe the thought of it isn't enough to make you run for the hills. But it sure is for me. I loathe pictures of me. I get knots in my stomach anytime anyone near has a camera. Because I can't stand looking at the pictures. I am simply too big! And I sincerely dislike it.

BUT.

I have learned this: In order to progress, I have to accept where I am. So that I can progress. Part of that acceptance, for me, is allowing pictures of me to be taken. And maybe even posted on facebook.

AUGHGHGHGH!!!!


Sorry, just scared myself again.

But as I was saying, progression means not hiding from what is holding me back. And in my case, this will mean an occasional photo opp. GAH. And to show that I mean business, here: (and you have no idea just how courageous I will feel after posting this...)

This is what I currently look like. (next to me is my sister who is expecting twins. YAY!!)

*sigh* and UGH.

Want to know what I want people to believe I look like? Here:

You can see the weight difference in my face. This is my pinterest profile pic because I don't want people to know what I really look like! Because it's embarrassing!

Embarrassing to admit I have a problem with food.

But onward and upward, yes? YES.

So. Here I am. Admitting and showing and LIVING my life. I can't hide anymore because that would prevent me from progressing. And I've got to be able to do that if I'm to beat this thing.

Here's to one step forward.

Fitsugar

Not only do I love the name of this workout site (Hi, Fitsugar.) but they have some great workouts that are only 10 minutes. Hence, the love.

I don't have time for a super long workout at one time so these 10 minute increments are fabulous when I catch a break during the day.

My breaks are called: "Kids' bedtime."   =)  Usually I do 1 or 2 of these snippets after the kiddos are tucked in. But they are fast enough that I could easily do a couple while my kids are up and around.

Check it out:

FITSUGAR

Have spinach, will smoothie

Oh the goodness of things that are not good for you. Am I right? Chocolate. Wendy's. (or whatever place you like.) Crispy chicken sandwiches with mayo, extra mayo! Chips. Ranch dressing. French fries dipped in ranch dressing! CHERRY PEPSI!! Man, if I listed everything I love that's not great for me, we'd be here all day. I don't have all day. So let me just say- my tastes are incredibly drawn to anything fatty, creamy, and sugary. Is that anyone else?

Obviously, I know my eating habits were a major factor in my weight problem. Quite honestly, I was addicted to those things. Addiction? To food? Yes. There is such a thing- but that's a topic for another day.

Anyway.

One of the very first things I decided to change at this decision to create a more healthy lifestyle was the type of food I was eating. I was NOT making good choices. My day consisted of  white bread (why it's not horrible, but not wonderful for you either, in another post at another time), sugars, chocolate, highly processed carbs, and any and all chocolate I could get my hands on. And mixed with my lack of physical activity, that became a deadly combination.

Let's start with breakfast. It's the first thing in the morning, and it's been proven that those who have something at the beginning of the day are more likely to eat less during the rest of the day. But how much do you need to have? How much is a good enough breakfast to tide you over? I don't know- every person is different and will require different things to sustain their bodies. For me, I have discovered something that works. It's a green smoothie.
It works for me because I like spinach. I would much rather have spinach than lettuce. So my tastes were already tuned to this smoothie. Plus, the thickness of it means that I am not going to eat it all in one sitting, it lasts me through out the morning to lunchtime.
 I pull out spinach, strawberries, a banana, an orange, and vanilla yogurt. Into the blender they go and out a surprisingly tasty smoothie comes.This is where I found the recipe: 

                                  Pinterest spinach smoothie 

(this will take you to my pin of the smoothie- the blog it originated from isn't found so I don't know who to credit for this specific recipe.) There are several green smoothie recipes online and SO MANY people have opinions about them. Read 'em, see what you think. I believe that for breakfast or lunch, a green smoothie works for me. Will it for everybody? Maybe not. But if you think it would work for you, I say go for it.

I do change it up by the fruit I use. The day I used a peach was my favorite smoothie day. SO GOOD. I used in place of the strawberries. Anyway, the point is to try it, see what works for you.

I've been having this for breakfast for the past week and I'm not tired of it yet. Nor has it done anything adverse to me. Which, hey, YAY!  =)

I've also had: vanilla yogurt with granola and fruit. I mix it all together- not in the blender but just regular, in a bowl. YUM. It's good stuff.
My husband often has a protein shake for breakfast, and that works for him.
My point is, find something that works for you. Replace what you are eating now -- if it needs replacing-- with something different, healthier each day until you find several things you like and rotate through them.
You have to start with something at some point, right? So start with the morning. Will it be a miraculous event that will inspire you to do more? Maybe, I can't say. But it IS a starting point.

Do you have something that you like and works for you? Please share!

This is Heavy

My name is Jennifer and I am overweight.

There. It's said, it's out in the open.

This is an incredibly scary thing. Not only facing the demons (habits) that have wreaked havoc with my body but writing them down?? Yeah, that's fear right there. Because then it's real. There is no hiding. There is no pretending otherwise. And I have to face those things and change them.

Change is scary.
But change can be so good.

So this blog is my story. 

My journey and my findings. Because it's not a matter of just being 'skinny' anymore. It's a matter of my health and quite frankly, life or death.

Here's why:
The other day, I was sitting at my desk writing. (It's what I do. I'm a writer.) Quite suddenly and unlike anything I've felt before-- chest pains. Terror inducing "I'm going to die and who will help my family???" chest pains.
Then, they went away. I sat for a minute, really unable to think about anything other than the fact that I just almost died from a heart attack. (I don't know for sure that's what it was. But it was scary.) And I'm only 34 years old.

It was a major wake up moment. Things HAD to change.

So I am changing. And I'm recording it as I go. This is not somebody "fit" trying to improve lifestyles and physiques for someone else; this is MY actual journey and progression.

If you're along for the ride, thanks for being there with me. If you're reading this for inspiration then I hope that's what I can give.
This will be an honest place. I won't sugar coat anything and sometimes I will whine. Such is the journey of breaking habits of the past 14 years and relearning things.
You'll be hearing more about my life now and then. Stories from the past, stories from now. You'll find recipes I've found that are easy for a family but are a good fit into the 'FIT' lifestyle I want to have. You'll find websites of workout routines that I regularly use and work for me. You might even see some that didn't work for me. But I'll post 'em anyway, because they may work for someone who might read this.

Want to share this blog? Please do. As scary as it is for me, maybe there's someone who can read my story and become inspired too. Because people who have made this journey before me are my inspiration. Have a comment? Have a story? Please share. The more the merrier here.

I told ya this was heavy. But I'm hoping to change that. Because my loss will be my gain.